Perspective is everything ...

I received my first communication from Alex since he has taken off on his "adventure". He did not return to school for the winter semester, trying to avoid the -40 temperatures that are all too common in Fairbanks this time of year. Instead, he's traveling throughout the northwest, visiting friends and seeing what he thinks of the "lower 48". According to him he has no idea how long he'll stay at any particular place ~ has no concrete idea how he'll get from Bainbridg Island, Washington to Bozeman, MT (his ultimate destination). I told him that if it was hitchiking I didn't want to know. He smiled and promised to let me know when he had arrived places. He really likes the idea of having no particular time table. I can't blame him. I'm looking forward to that myself ~ it's just going to come in retirement.

I can't help but marvel how my young, angelic looking, baby boy has grown into this adventurous, young man. What I've discovered is that it's one thing to see your children grow up and acknowledge that by looking at them, you know they've grown up. Yet, I have to bite my tongue when it comes to offering too many "helpful suggestions". How different it feels from the parent perspective. In hindsight I can see that I must have caused my parents to have sores on their tongue from having to bite it that often. They, however, gave me a good example to follow and I'm trying very hard to do that very thing.

So, the boy is becoming a man. How do I trust that I did enough, gave him enough tools, to be successful at this transition? I don't know that I'll ever know that. There are times I feel quite confident in him, seeing maturity, seeing intellect that I pray sees him through this. Then there are times that I wonder if either one of us will survive. I can't effectively explain and interpret Alex and his need to stretch his wings to his dad. If I have to explain at a time when I'm not feeling confident, it just adds to the stress. Very interesting....

I guess this is a time that every parent goes through. I'm not seeing anything new. I have the advise, support, and wisdom of those that have gone before me. Don't know what I'd do without you all! And, yes, the Lord is good and will see us through. I take great comfort in the truth that the Lord's eye is on Alex, too. And He knows best!

Reality is a tough one at times

We've just finished the joy and rush of the holiday season and have launched ourselves in the new year. For many, this includes resolutions or "re-tooling" as I am apt to do. Yet, reality then hits you and you realize that all we have is the now and what matters is what we do with the moments we're given.

When you live in Alaska, the wife of a pilot, you know that you're in a high risk business. You live with that everyday. I'm blessed to have a husband who does not appear bent on pushing his limits. When he thought about flying this past Saturday, he decided against it. It wasn't really horible weather, but the winds were occasionally there and it was only 16 degrees. He figured there was nothing that earth shatteing that he had to fly for. As it turned out, it was good he did not fly as he was needed in the other aspect of his trooper life. If he had been in the air, he would not have known there was another pilot who needed help, or known his wife was at home desperately needing to hear he was okay.

There was a plane crash of a small Piper, carrying 10 people, where only 4 survived. My husband spent his Saturday fishing dead bodies out of airplanes and getting them to shore. Although the passengers were not from Kodiak, the pilot was. It's a small community here and the loss has hit us all very hard. After 20 years of being married to a pilot, going to twice as many funerals than weddings over those years, you'd think I'd get used to it. I've learned that's not true.

So, what have I learned?

1. Cherish the time you have with your loved ones ~ we never know when it's going to be gone.

2. Don't let silly arguments or misunderstandings keep you from experiencing peace in your relationships.

3. Always remember: God is good and knows what He's doing~even if right now it doesn't seem like it.

Compared to losing a spouse, how do the irritations of your life stack up? Yeah, I thought so. About as high as mine. I need to remember to put things in perspective. I had to be reminded of this the hard way, I'm hoping you don't.