Life comes at you fast, doesn't it? It feels like yesterday that I was knee deep in closing my year as an elementary secretary, and I'm already back ~ knee deep in getting it open again. I'm incredibly thankful that I had a summer of rest and relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered.

I had the privilege of visiting my sister and her family in North Carolina. My, what a beautiful state! I'm already dreaming of retirement there. Now I just have to convince my hubby.... I've got 8 years for that but I'm starting now. As any woman can agree, to have the opportunity to take a 2 week vacation by yourself, where you wear only 1 hat, that of "person", is a real break. I was not a wife or mother. Now, don't misunderstand, I love the title of "wife" and "mother", but it was quite relaxing to indulge and not have to think about being the keeper of anyone's happiness. So, Randi, Don, Kellie, Essie,. Regan & Taylor, thanks for the wonderful memories!!

I returned and had the joy of having company this summer. Good friends who had moved from Kodiak came and stayed for a couple of weeks, then my sister-in-law and father-in-law came for a week. Before I knew it, I was back at work.

I've been pondering lately at how fast life is. I feel as if I barely have enough time to react to news or changes ~ and it's already old news, quickly being pushed aside by the onslaught of an ever changing world. We are in the midst of a presidential election year that hits close to home as Alaska's Gov. Sarah Palin has been chosen to be McCain's VP candidate. I have very mixed reviews. I believe she has the ability, but I'm not sure I relish the brutal, continual media attention to anyone, let alone a wife and mother of 5. Now we find out her 17 year old daughter is 5 months pregnant and I'm shocked. Why put your family through this?

Hurricanes and threats of disaster seem to be the focal point of the news as well. Life as we know it contains both effortless joy and heart wrenching pain in relatively short spans of time. Yet, the God of all power and majesty is not caught off guard and in that fact there is ultimate comfort.

In a matter of days my oldest will return to college. The goal ~ finish our sophomore year. My youngest is beginning her senior year of high school ~ looking forward to her future after high school. And, I must admit, Alan and I are looking forward to some quiet evenings at home. We're not trying to clear the nest early, but when there aren't a crowd of teenagers around, there is a solace to be enjoyed.

I've posted some pics, wishing I new how to do this better.... always something to learn... Perhaps it won't take as long to update the next time.

50's not soooo bad!

Okay, I may have only been 50 for a few hours, but so far it's not so bad. I've come to realize it's an unavoidable march in time, so I might as well go along for the ride. Age has never bothered me, so why did I do a glitch last night as I hung over the precipice of this milestone? Who knows. But, I'm over it now. Now I just need to surround myself with people who say, "50? Really? You make it look so good!!" Of course, this is not the same as having someone tell me I'm not acting my age ~ that wouldn't be good!

I figure I've lived over 1/2 my life ~ no, I'm not going to ponder ad nausea about whether I've "lived my life well up to this point"... I do see being on the downhill slide as a good thing. I'm secure in my future and I don't want to outlive all my peers... that would just be boring. I do hope that the last part of my life shows some sort of growth, maturity and wisdom from the 1st half. I guess that's a goal, right? Some people might have loftier goals, but I'm thinking that I would be happy if I attained this one.

So, it's on to the next phase of life ... I think I'm going to like this getting old stuff!

Perspective is everything ...

I received my first communication from Alex since he has taken off on his "adventure". He did not return to school for the winter semester, trying to avoid the -40 temperatures that are all too common in Fairbanks this time of year. Instead, he's traveling throughout the northwest, visiting friends and seeing what he thinks of the "lower 48". According to him he has no idea how long he'll stay at any particular place ~ has no concrete idea how he'll get from Bainbridg Island, Washington to Bozeman, MT (his ultimate destination). I told him that if it was hitchiking I didn't want to know. He smiled and promised to let me know when he had arrived places. He really likes the idea of having no particular time table. I can't blame him. I'm looking forward to that myself ~ it's just going to come in retirement.

I can't help but marvel how my young, angelic looking, baby boy has grown into this adventurous, young man. What I've discovered is that it's one thing to see your children grow up and acknowledge that by looking at them, you know they've grown up. Yet, I have to bite my tongue when it comes to offering too many "helpful suggestions". How different it feels from the parent perspective. In hindsight I can see that I must have caused my parents to have sores on their tongue from having to bite it that often. They, however, gave me a good example to follow and I'm trying very hard to do that very thing.

So, the boy is becoming a man. How do I trust that I did enough, gave him enough tools, to be successful at this transition? I don't know that I'll ever know that. There are times I feel quite confident in him, seeing maturity, seeing intellect that I pray sees him through this. Then there are times that I wonder if either one of us will survive. I can't effectively explain and interpret Alex and his need to stretch his wings to his dad. If I have to explain at a time when I'm not feeling confident, it just adds to the stress. Very interesting....

I guess this is a time that every parent goes through. I'm not seeing anything new. I have the advise, support, and wisdom of those that have gone before me. Don't know what I'd do without you all! And, yes, the Lord is good and will see us through. I take great comfort in the truth that the Lord's eye is on Alex, too. And He knows best!

Reality is a tough one at times

We've just finished the joy and rush of the holiday season and have launched ourselves in the new year. For many, this includes resolutions or "re-tooling" as I am apt to do. Yet, reality then hits you and you realize that all we have is the now and what matters is what we do with the moments we're given.

When you live in Alaska, the wife of a pilot, you know that you're in a high risk business. You live with that everyday. I'm blessed to have a husband who does not appear bent on pushing his limits. When he thought about flying this past Saturday, he decided against it. It wasn't really horible weather, but the winds were occasionally there and it was only 16 degrees. He figured there was nothing that earth shatteing that he had to fly for. As it turned out, it was good he did not fly as he was needed in the other aspect of his trooper life. If he had been in the air, he would not have known there was another pilot who needed help, or known his wife was at home desperately needing to hear he was okay.

There was a plane crash of a small Piper, carrying 10 people, where only 4 survived. My husband spent his Saturday fishing dead bodies out of airplanes and getting them to shore. Although the passengers were not from Kodiak, the pilot was. It's a small community here and the loss has hit us all very hard. After 20 years of being married to a pilot, going to twice as many funerals than weddings over those years, you'd think I'd get used to it. I've learned that's not true.

So, what have I learned?

1. Cherish the time you have with your loved ones ~ we never know when it's going to be gone.

2. Don't let silly arguments or misunderstandings keep you from experiencing peace in your relationships.

3. Always remember: God is good and knows what He's doing~even if right now it doesn't seem like it.

Compared to losing a spouse, how do the irritations of your life stack up? Yeah, I thought so. About as high as mine. I need to remember to put things in perspective. I had to be reminded of this the hard way, I'm hoping you don't.